Reopening Anxiety

I went out for a meal the other night and my heart started to race. It was a spontaneous visit, we were only meant to be going to the shop, so left no time for googling the place, checking trip advisor, checking I had a mask, hand gel let alone the questions… What were the menu options? We’re there any reviews that mentioned covid? What were their covid management processes? We’re there any bad reviews about the food. What did the inside of the place look like? I was tested to the max but I survived and, I even had a good time!

So here’s the thing, at the beginning of lockdown I had no idea how I was going to cope, but as someone with health anxiety, (I hate to say it) I was actually pleased to be away from people, away from risk and just in my little bubble. I missed my family and friends more than I could ever explain but I was so happy that my OCD and anxiety could take a bit of a break from disinfecting everything all of the time. No-one out, no-one in and shopping was delivered. It was comfortable. That’s the only way I can put it, I was comfortable. I was hidden away with my husband in our little house and I was comfortable. (This image isn’t actually me and my husband, I couldn’t convince him to do the photo!)

Then just as we all started getting into the habit, it changed again and we were allowed out. Masks were still compulsory and everyone had a hand gel. I just about coped but I stayed away from people and busy places.

Now it’s opening up even further, I dare say we’re almost back to normal as I go around my local towns and such but I’ve still kept myself to myself the last few months. This why the other night was such a shock to the system going out for a spontaneous meal. Reopening Anxiety is a real thing, we’ve had 18 months of adjusting, changing our coping mechanisms and techniques to make sure we can function on a basic level and now we’re having to change again. It’s understandable if we’re all still a little wobbly. It can take up to 254 days (according to healthline.com) to build a new habit and this includes getting used to people not wearing masks and seeing handgel everywhere!

My advice, practice your grounding then start pushing your boundaries. The more regularly you expose yourself to something that terrifies you, the easier it gets over time. I know it’s indescribably scary but it’s the way to show your brain who is actually the boss.

As an example, the first time I went to Manchester years ago, I didn’t make it out of the train station car park. I got so overwhelmed with the people, the noise, the grand size of the buildings that my brain just said ‘hell no!’. I went home, bawled for a bit then I practiced my grounding again and went back to Manchester again. It was still scary but I didn’t go into full and debilitating panic. The more I went, the easier I got until one day, I took a job that meant I would have to go into the city centre regularly and on my own. I took the train which never would have happened and I had meetings and I was calm and collected.